Two Million: How many is that? Since March 2020 I’ve been recording COVID-19 statistics. Every morning I check the official government websites for the latest numbers. I record cases in the U.S., Washington State, Yakima County and Belgium, where our youngest daughter and her family live. For a while, I could close my eyes and imagine 100 people dead by thinking about how many seats there are in a theater or several thousand seats in a stadium or the Mall in Washington D.C. filled with prone people, not the usual standing crowd. Eventually, the numbers got too big to imagine and the heaviness of heart that resulted also made me realize that this daily ritual, sandwiched between my time with God and going to work wasn’t very good for my soul.
So, now I am checking statistics once a week, recording the numbers, but I’m also realizing the numbers don’t register the loss in the same way. The numbers are too big. I can’t fathom that many deaths in a few month’s time. The thing that has changed, however, is that the previously nameless and unknown to me now include faces I know. An older, much admired woman, the brother-in-law of dear friends and a disabled brother of a friend in France are among those whose names I record so they won’t be forgotten when they are shuffled quickly out of a much-needed ICU bed for the next occupant.
Each of the two million have left friends and family. When that kind of pain is multiplied, my heart breaks. The muliplication of this loss all over the the planet is just causing exponential pain. Sometimes a dull ache, always a sadness that never lifts, and sometimes a fear that steals our hope and joy. And anger. How many lives were lost because of failure to wear masks and protect others? Is anger an appropriate response to this rampage of death, our final enemy?